A guide to finding your authentic style

Finding authenticity in your style

replacing individuality with authenticity

In a world where conformity is often encouraged, embracing uniqueness can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. Being unique means standing out from the crowd, celebrating individuality, and fostering creativity.

Individuality  is the very fabric that weaves our experiences together and molds our perception of the world.

Yet in recent years, and with the rising influence of the “online persona” our desire for expressing our uniqueness has turned style into a competition.

Introducing: the individuality complex,

Characterized by an excessive or obsessive craving for individuality and independence, the individuality complex is observed in the “not like other girls” or “weird girl” online discours. Our longing for individuality has turned into an individuality war and a constant need to separate ourselves from a group, either existing or made up

In order to climb up the individuality ladder, we regularly purchase new items, which the ambition of getting closer to our most individual selves.

In her article Add to Cart: Why the Hunt Feels Better Than the Grail , Eugene Rabkin, visits the disappointment in shopping this way. She cites psychoanalyst Lacan, who spent a lot of time examining the nature of desire and stated that because there is a fundamental lack in us, we look for objects to complete us, to somehow make us better – cooler, more beautiful, different but because in reality objects lack this power, they tend to disappoint. Yet our solution is not to abandon the chase, but to move on to the next object in the hope that it will do the job the one we just got could not.

The highly digitalized era we find ourselves in, in which everything is documented and individuality is a competition, strengthens this problem. We are constantly receiving subconscious messages on which items it is that we “need” in order to fill this lack and distinguish ourselves from others. Thus our quest for individuality is leading to overconsumption.

Yet, if we’re competing and adopting different style elements to max out on individuality points and to differentiate ourselves from everyone else, are we really weird? Individual? Authentic?

Is it possible to celebrate our uniqueness without engaging in an individuality war?

If you want my opinion (which as you are still reading, I assume you do):

Yes - you can dress the way you like and have whatever combination of hobbies and interest are true to you, whilst acknowledging you are part of a collective. Everything has been done before, you will never be the first at anything, but that does not make your style inauthentic.

it is important to distinguish authenticity and individuality and shift our focus to the prior - authenticity: although often leading to a certain sense of individuality, is based on living and dressing in a way that is true to you.

But how can we do this whilst living under constant information and influence overload?

Here are three easy guidelines, when seeking fashion inspo and shopping to develop your authentic style.

1. What has hooked me?

   When seeing an outfit you love, ask yourself the following questions to better your understand what makes up your style.

   • What exactly draws me to this?

   • Is it the outfit itself or the person in it?

     - This is particularly helpful when your source of inspiration is a pinterest or instagram photo. What i like to do (this might seem a little kooky) is to crop out the person’s head and see if I still like the outfit. sometimes what we actually like is the person’s vibe more so than their outfit.

   • Is it one specific piece or the entire outfit?

     - This helps avoid buying or copying the entire outfit when we only actually like one element.

   • What about this piece draws me in?

     - What emotion, subtext, identitiy does it convey? Is it the shape, color or pattern?

   • Do I actually appreciate it or have I simply seen it so often?

     -The human brain loves repetition and seeing the same trend over and over again might just convince your brain that you love and need it in your closet - when actually, you just like the repetition

2. Why am i sick of it?

   Ask yourself the same questions when sick of your clothes - to avoid making the same mistakes

   • What did I expect to get from this item and what is missing?

     by knowing what is missing, you can identify that in future potential buys. Remember, it is completely normal for our style to shift and develop over time but it is not normal for us to fit into a whole new aesthetic each season

3. If its not a hell yes its a hell no

   (This goes to decisions beyond personal style aswell)

   If in the shop it did not inspire whatever feeling it is you want it to inspire in you, dont get it. Regardless of the price, dont get it

What happens once you start dressing authentically?

• You’ll feel a sense of satisfaction when shopping because you only buy stuff you genuinely love

• Over time, you will build an emotional attachment to your clothes and a sense of belonging - “these are not just pants, they are MY pants”

• What is a typical you outfit? - you (and your close friends) will be able to associate certain style elements to you.

• You will feel at ease in your outfits and no longer feel like you’re playing dressup every morning.

• you will be building the grounds to your long term dream wardrobe - slowly accumulating pieces that match your essence. over time your clothing will bleed and mesh together to create your style

Why is it important?

Your authentic style does not limit itself to your outfits - it is also, the places you go, the fragrances you wear, how you organize your space, the places that inspire you and the pictures you take, it’s the small things you think are cool and the architecture you like

Living authentically makes you a complete person.

If you liked this post, make sure to check out my Youtube video in which I delve deeper into the subject: